Interview with Avi Wolf

How do you reconcile movie watching with the inherent halachic issues that arise with watching content that has sex, violence, nivul peh, etc. Do you think think there is no halachic prohibition
involved?

I believe that here you fall into the common trap of many religious thinkers and members of the yeshiva world, in that you view everything through the lens of the formal law codices and authorized texts and attribute no value or authority to the world outside your window. Ergo, the issue of TV (or any issue) rises and falls, in your view, on the question of whether or not I can muster halachic and textual arguments and defeat nay-sayers.

My attitude is entirely different. I take it as a given that many activities of Jews fall outside the strictly sanctioned matters discussed by major poskim. Some of them are neutral, some problematic and some might be outright assur. There is a difference between the real observance and transgression as evidenced by communities and ideal level of observance as evidenced in the often utopian and detached law codices. I happen to agree with Dr. Benny Brown, for instance, that strict adherence to the Chofetz Chaim’s loshon Hara psika would make most normal discourse almost impossible. This is to say nothing of how “loshon hara” can thus be warped into the equivalent of the mafia code of silence.

I believe that the “Ideal” and the “real” need to negotiate, and know when to enforce and when to give way, not try to enforce utopia down normal people’s throats. Hearing swear words, seeing violence or sexual images to varying degrees is part of this negotiation. A sense of proportion, often entirely lacking in theoretical halachic discussion, is also key seeing some skin is not the same thing as watching an X-rated movie, and hearing some swear-words does not mean the hearer is going to suddenly have the mouth of a sailor. We need to trust those who receive values that they know how negotiate these things.

“Do you feel that there are any shows that should not be watched?”

 Everyone has their red lines, and I trust that people who are sufficiently infused with Jewish values can establish appropriate boundaries. I myself have certain boundaries I will not cross, while others have theirs. It is an individual (or familial) call.

“How would you feel about taking first year yeshiva students to go and watch “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” as an excursion?”

Why should I consider this a problem?

Granted, I’d prefer if they have better taste in movies, but I don’t think it’s a disaster.

“Do you believe that contemporary Judaism is too prudish, when it comes to matters of sexuality?”

Absolutely, and to our collective detriment.

“What would you propose differently? As a serious suggestion, do you think we should be going down the route of poskim giving heterim for masturbation for sexually frustrated single men, allowing single woman to go to mikvah?”

I don’t think blanket heterim are necessary nor even a “global policy”. What is needed is a toning down of anti-sexual rhetoric. When students are taught about sex, they should be taught a lot more about teshuva and how what they are feeling is perfectly normal. Furthermore, they should not be given the idea that having sex (or maturbating) immediately puts them outside the pale or means they are a bad person (as opposed to wrong behavior). I don’t want to hear any more stories about people who go have sex and then chuck Torah and Mitzvot altogether because some overzealous teacher told them it’s the worst thing in the world.

The point, then, is to have a less perfectionist, 100% or nothing attitude towards sinners, sexual sinners included. I know this sounds hyperbolic, but the only real alternative is the hafrada insanity, where the ideal prevent sexual sins at all costs attitude prevails.

Chag Sameach,

Avi

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